A Chat and a Drink

This is my submission for day 28 of The Halls of Pandemonium from Bradley Ramsey, as per the picture below. A scene that takes place in a café or coffee shop.

"What do you think makes a real man?" said Smith.

"I was told once I wasn't a real man
because I didn't have a car", he went on.

 "That was by the mother of a close friend of mine.

"Yet I've always got where needed,
whether near or far. Never any really great issues, but me not being able to drive there myself, apparently makes me not a whole or real man. 

"I was friends with her daughter but never interested in her in that way. Nevertheless, she thought it would be best to advise me that my friend would never entertain me romantically because I didn't drive".

"I know the type", said his companion.

"Probably one of those that has the hot boyfriends that treat them like shit, but keeps picking up similar blokes of that type after repeatedly being hurt. Decent looking, decent money, but treats them abominably? and still they keep coming back, but hey, they have a car, right?"

"Usually a pretty good one, to be fair" said Smith.

"It's amazing how many people I know like that, they feel some need to only stick to within their designated type. So often though, that type is all surface-level stuff; good body, nice abs, sometimes intelligent, sometimes not, but it's usually like they forget to work on what's inside, and what they have to offer beyond that".

"Tell me about it", said the friend, before carrying on;

"I've just came in on a flight and someone had Love Island on their tablet with no headphones and it is full of people who largely seem just all image, image, image with no real regard for substance".

"Mate, my missus watches that sort of shit", Smith replied "and I couldn't agree more".

The friend spoke, "It seems there's always a lot of talk about viewing people for their qualities and what is inside them and not just for the things they have or surface-level qualities like looks, but it seems that it's still that sort of thing that many are judged on".

"Definitely" replied Smith, not just us either, I think women get it worse. Social media has done a lot of good but I think that it's also been a big driver in reinforcing certain ideals, the notion of having to use a filter or touch up if something isn't perfect".

His friend looked up: "hate and discrimination are alive and well" he said.

"When I get back from a place, my body takes a while to adjust.

"Just look at this" he invited. 

"When I go to Germany my fingers change from the type you would usually recognise, to either bockwurst or bratwurst .

"I've just come back from Spain and it shows. Look at these fingers. Red and spicy, chorizo sausages. They won't grow back as a traditional British banger for a good few days. You should see the looks I get. Don't think I don't hear the whispers from the anti-immigration mob too, mocking me because I've got digits made of Spanish sausage rather than Cumberland or Gloucester Old Spot".

"I feel you, man" said Smith.

"It's the mockery too, people just not calling me by my name, just referring to the fingers,
'Chorizo Charles' I heard one of them call me.

"The very cheek of it, folks saying I don't belong here due to my fingers.

"Plus, if they cared to ask they'll know, it's not just my fingers that change due to where I am, my name does too. Most of the time in Spain and Latin America I am Salchicha Juan. My passport  changes back quicker than the fingers though".

"It's something that I really hate,
this need to just discriminate.

"Once gone and pork and beef are back,
then they'll again love Sausage Jack".

"Calm down. You're rhyming and getting agitated. Seems like the way things are going here at the moment, the seeds of division constantly being sown" said Smith.

"Tell you what” he said, continuing, “I could help you with changing some of those fingers though. I'm getting a bit peckish and was going to order a sandwich. Do you think I can spice it up with one of those chorizo bad boys?".

"Oh of course!" said Sasuage Jack "though you're not just doing it to make me feel better, are you? I can wait. I don't like to appease folks, like rewarding their demand for only the sausages they want".

"Course not, mate. The sandwiches here are alright, but a little bland. A bit of your spicy sausage goodness will really hit the spot" Smith assured him.

"Excellent. You go order then, and I'll get you one of these fingers off, once you have some cutlery. 

"They're not all actually chorizo, the pinkies are Salchichón. You ever tried salchichón? Delicious. Peppery. I think these have garlic too”.

"Sounds great", said Smith. " Go on then, give us a bit of that as well then while you're at it. You really are for all sausagey needs aren't you?"

"I am indeed" said a smiling Sausage Jack. Oh. I'll have an Earl Grey too, while you're there, please".

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